36 and 10 / What I’ve Learned About Adoption

Sharing this blog. I love hearing the voice of the adoptee. Their experience can teach us all.


Today marks 36 years since my arrival from Calcutta. It’s hard for me to believe that one year ago I was back in Calcutta on the 35th anniversary filming Calcutta is My Mother.

I’ve spent the past 2 years researching adoption, having heart to heart conversations with adoptees, and writing down every thought and feeling of my own. Today I’m sharing 10 personal thoughts/things I’ve learned about adoption. You may not appreciate them all but I hope my intentions are not misunderstood. I do not claim to speak for all adoptees; I’m sharing based on discussions I’ve had with fellow adoptees and my own personal findings.

  1. Adoption can be good and/or bad. After all my research, I still maintain adoption can be an incredibly beautiful and positive experience. It mostly has been for me. However, when it is wonderful, it isn’t without trauma, grief, and sorrow. Adoption can also be horrific…

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“USA Faces Critical Adoption Shortage” Where Are The Children?

After reading the article (linked to this blog), I agree with the blogger.

I would like to add, what seemed to surprise me most was how the facts notated in Wendy Koch’s article were written with a negative aspect instead of as a positive aspect (ie. less newborn adoptions available because of single motherhood, or less available children in foster care because of a number of reasons listed). Aren’t those things good things. If we were talking about other awareness campaigns, these numbers would be used to highlight the positives (less smokers, less cancer victims, less suicide). Studies have shown that adoption comes with trauma and emotional/attachment disorders. I think we should be celebrating that there are less newborn adoptions because their parents or grandparents or extended family members are raising them or helping to raise them. Adoption will always have it’s place in society. But how we manage adoption says a lot about who we are as a people. I mean wouldn’t it be great if we had a society where adoption was no longer a necessary action and agency services were no longer needed, and babies and children no longer had a price tag on them? Call me crazy but I think that would be wonderful. A true utopia.

A Roots Search

Holy crap! Yep, USA published a story with this idiotic title, the part in quotes. I blame the title on whoever the editor is and the ignorant content to Wendy Koch, the author. Thanks to Adoption News and Events on Facebook for publicizing this article. Thanks to them for also spreading the word about Terry Achane. If you’re looking for news regarding adoption, all news, good and bad, I certainly recommend checking them out on the good ‘ole Facebook.

I have found Wendy’s article under two different names, but here is the full one I found titled: “Adoption Options Plummet As Russia Closes Its Doors“. Check it out.

I don’t have the time to tear into this as much as I’d like but its short and I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out most of it for yourself. Here’s my initial reaction though. One quick thing, I’d…

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Martin Luther King, Jr. On Complacency #MLK

I know all too well the impact of complacency.


On this anniversary of the March On Washington for civil rights, I have been looking for some choice quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. One pattern that I have found is his clarity in speaking out on complacency and inaction. Those who do nothing while witnessing injustice and wrong-doing do worse than those who commit acts of injustice. The privileged have a responsibility to do what they know is right.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and…

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