Sharing this blog post by Angela Tucker, from the documentary film, Closure.
This post allows others who are not adoptees to understand the adoptees perspective and feelings around “birth” days. But the part that really moved me was Angela’s birthmother’s response in the comments section below. Maybe because we share the same title and experience of relinquishment. Angela’s birthmother however, does not wish her daughter’s feelings away, nor does she tell her daughter to be grateful, nor does she try to make any excuses of her role in the process that has caused Angela to have these thoughts and feelings. Her birthmother is humble, vulnerable, and genuinely concerned about her daughter. And she expresses all of this in an open letter for all to see. That takes courage.
How many of us mothers can speak to our child like this, whether we are a parenting mother, an adoptive mother or a birth mother? To be able to say to your child, I understand how my role or some of my choices may have caused an emotional impact on you. After reading Angela’s blog post, read Angela’s birthmother’s (Deborah Johnson) heartfelt letter to her daughter.
I am currently sitting in a viral incubator AKA, an airplane, flying over one of the Great Lakes en route to Philadelphia on this day after my birthday. I’m cramped in the middle seat with billions of microscopic cabin air pathogens swirling around mixed with my never-ending thoughts. I’ve contemplated reaching across my neighbor to lower the window shade so I can drift off in to a blissful dream, but that would be rude and ignorance doesn’t do my body any good. I decide to keep my laptop out, and let my stream of consciousness go – a belated birthday present to myself of sorts.
This weekend I’m speaking to The Academy of American Adoption Attorneys for their annual conference – I’m looking forward to meeting more professionals within the adoption community, and to be involved in legal conversations around adoption ethics. As I approach this weekend it’s saddened me to realize that historically I’ve lumped…
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