I had worked for my employer since 1996 and I had accumulated a good retirement as well as a beneficial 401k which allowed me to take a year off from work in 2012. Since having my son, life has been a whirlwind. Being a single mother, life was non-stop, always going somewhere, and doing something. I didn’t realize how busy my life was until I took off that one year. I began to think about what makes a single mother.
Taking into consideration for me and my single mother friends, here are some things that are common to single mothers or single parents.
If you are the only parent who has changed your child’s diaper, you might be a single mother.
If you are the only parent who taught your child how to talk, walk and ride a bike, you might be a single mother.
If you are the only parent who shows up for your child’s parent teacher conference, you might be a single mother.
If you are the only one who takes your child to the doctor, or stays home with them when they are sick, you might be a single mother.
If you’re a one income family and you’re the sole provider and protector for your household, you might be a single mother.
If your kids get new clothes (though maybe not in large quantities), while you haven’t bought anything new for yourself in many years, you might be a single mother.
If you shop at second hand stores, you might be a single mother.
If you use coupons, shop sales and sale racks, and buy marked down meats at the grocery store; you might be a single mother.
If you have ever wondered how you were going to pay the bills, you might be a single mother.
If you get paid and your paycheck is already spent on bills, daycare, groceries, lunch money, gas, and you only have $5.00 to last until your next paycheck or zero money or already have a negative balance in your account after just getting paid, you might be a single mother.
If you have ever called a utility company and asked for a payment plan, or an extension, you might be a single mother.
If your phone or your electric has ever been turned off since becoming a parent, you might be a single mother.
If your child hears the ice cream truck and ask you if she can buy an ice cream and you tell her no because you don’t even have one dollar in your purse to give, you might be a single mother.
If your child wants to rent a Redbox movie and you tell him you can’t afford it this week, you might be a single mother.
If you go to a fast food restaurant and tell your child that she can only order from the dollar menu, you might be a single mother.
If you go out with friends and you tell your child beforehand, do not order anything too expensive. Then get to the restaurant and your child ask you if he can order a menu item that is pricier than the other menu entrees and you give him a dirty look, you might be a single mother.
If you’re going to a friend’s house for a BBQ and they ask if you can pick up some soda’s or chips or deserts and it’s during one of those times when you have spent all your money on the bills listed above but you don’t want to tell your friends that you’re broke, you might be a single mother.
If your pantry and refrigerator are bare, not because you don’t cook at home but because you don’t have enough money to buy groceries for the upcoming week, you might be a single mother.
If you have a thousand ways to use leftovers, you might be a single mother.
If your child asks you if she can eat something before getting it out, because you have told her that the food (cereal, Ramon noodles, Hot Pockets) all cheap single parent foods, needs to last until next payday, you might be a single mother.
If you drive an older car or have no car at all (use public transportation), you might be a single mother.
If you’re coworkers ask you to go out after work for happy hour and you decline because you don’t have a babysitter, nor can afford a babysitter, and you don’t have enough money to buy even one drink for happy hour, you might be a single mother.
If your child gets invited to a birthday party and you don’t have enough money to buy a birthday present, you might be a single mother.
If you have ever made a homemade Halloween costume for your child and tried to get them excited about the creative process because you couldn’t afford to buy a store bought costume, you might be a single mother.
If you’re long overdue for a haircut, not because you don’t want one, but because your child’s needs come before yours, you might be a single mother.
If you feel like you are rushing all the time; get up, get kids ready, make breakfast, drop kids off at school, drive to work, get off work, pick kids up, get home, cook dinner (some of us still do this), clean dishes, take kids to sports or other activities, help with homework, get them ready for bed, and do that for 52 weeks of the year, you might be a single mother.
If you have ever felt stressed and overwhelmed and wondered about your role as a parent, praying to God to help provide for you and your family, you might be a single mother.
If your weekends feel as stressed as your work week; catching up on cleaning, laundry, bills and paper work, and spending time with your kids, you might be a single mother.
If taking a weekend nap or getting pampered with a manicure, pedicure, or a massage is worth more than a million dollars, you might be a single mother.
When your kids go everywhere you go and there’s no such thing as, “Honey, watch the kids while I run to the store real quick,” then you most likely are a single mother.
And if your ex (husband or child’s father) has never gotten up in the middle of the night to feed, change or comfort his crying baby, nor dropped off or picked up his kid at school, nor showed up at his child’s school functions, stage performance or sports game, nor cooked his child a meal, nor helped his child with homework, nor carried his child on his insurance, nor stayed home with his sick child, nor has provided any physical or emotional support to his child or you, no Daddy weekends, monthly or bi-annual visits, and no financial child support, then you are not a single mother, you are a single parent and you ROCK!
One Woman's Choice 